The following are words that I have never in my entire life uttered:

I am wearing a white mini-skirt today.

Not extremely mini, mind you, but it’s a few inches above my knee, and I have short legs. So it would probably be a belt for any normal proportioned person, for sure.

the one where I confess some contradiction you already knew

I don’t believe in political correctness where people say “oh you’re not disabled! You’re differently abled!” “you’re not handicapped, you’re just challenged.” I’m NOT challenged. I don’t feel much of a challenge, but more of a pain in the ass. I’m not differently-abled. I’m deaf. I’m not hearing impaired, nor hard of hearing, nor any other 'rose-tinted glasses' expression people adore using. I’m deaf. Plain and simple.

I’ve spent 23 yrs of my life dealing with it. Hey, guess what? I’ve dealt with it. I’m not saying it’s not hard sometimes, as it is…for sure. BUT I deal with it. I admit, sometimes I close myself off to possible situations because I’m afraid of what people might say, or I’m afraid of making people repeat, but you know what? That’s 90% because I’m shy, and 10% because I’m deaf.

but what about...

And I’m naïve. I am actually a gullible little person who believes there is good in everybody. If somebody tells me something, most often than not, I believe them and take their word for it even if they’re probably wrong. So for all I know people are playing jokes on me and scamming me left, right and center, but I’m oblivious to it all because deep deep down, at my core, I’m a genuinely nice person who doesn’t believe in total evil anymore. I used to, but I gave that up in search for something more pleasant.

doobie doobie do...n't

I’ve never done any drugs. Only been offered once and I turned it down because 1)I just didn’t feel like it; and 2)It’d probably make me more paranoid and neurotic even though it’s supposed to make people mellow and laid-back.

I’m not an overly paranoid person by nature, although I’m sure there are a few hundred people who would disagree with me at this moment. I don’t think I’m really paranoid, but more so inquisitive.

So imagine me on drugs, any drugs you name it. I’d be the most annoying bitch to ever walk the planet. It’d be paranoia city 24/7, a walking, breathing neurotic questioning machine spewing all kinds of inane and insane ramblings that only people like Jim Morrison would probably have understood.